One of the most common reactions I receive when I mention I work alongside my husband is “Oh, I couldn’t do that!”, and yet for us, it’s the most natural and easy thing in the world. Of course, it isn’t without its interesting moments - but understanding more about our personality really does help us deal with these on a personal level.

There is an interesting effect on the business as well - we’re both visionaries and are 100 per cent immersed in the potential of the business, but this means we’re not so great at focussing on the bottom line. Thankfully there are other members of the team who are!

I’m not sure if there any statistics on the comparative percentage of husband and wife teams jointly running businesses on the internet, but I imagine it’s relatively high - or maybe it’s because I’m one of them that I notice them more! I decided to grill another couple about their working life, and just how their personalities affect things for the business. Here’s the resultant interview:

It’s my great pleasure to introduce Peter and Heather Bestel from A Little Bit of Me Time.

PartnerMaps: As I understand it Heather, as a psychotherapist & stress management consultant, the business is based around your expertise, providing digital products to help individuals and business consultant Peter provides the technical support. Can you tell me whose idea was it to go into business together and what prompted the decision?

Heather: A Little Bit of Me Time is our first online business and yes it is all about ME! It seemed the obvious place to start. I have private clients and run courses and that led us to offer similar products online. I had always wanted to work in a business together as Peter is so brilliant at understanding my ideas and making them tangible. He has a great eye for design and so together we make a good team. Now that A little bit of Me Time can stand on its own two feet, Peter can focus on his own online business ideas.

PartnerMaps: Peter - on your Twitter profile, your bio reads “I’m the man behind the woman who’s the brains behind our business.” I can’t imagine that as a business consultant you don’t have a more than substantial influence on the business. Why did you decide to position yourself in a clearly defined supportive role?

Peter: The business is branded as Heather so there’s no need for me to have a visible input. But, I couldn’t let her get away with taking all the credit!

PartnerMaps: Following both your your updates (and that of Sidney the dog and your 11 year old daughter!) on Twitter and on your blog the impression I have is that you’re a very loving family with somewhat of an idyllic life. Prior to this interview I asked you to complete the PartnerMaps personality questionnaire, and this image fits in very well with what I understand of both your personality types. Can each of you tell me how deliberate that projection is, and how aware of it you are?

Heather: It’s all true! (laughs) We want to give an insight into our lives so that our clients can get to know us. In the self help industry it is important to build trust and I have to be held to account. If I ‘walk my talk’ then my clients can trust me and my products.

We have worked long and hard to create the life we have now and I’m happy for others to see that. It shows we are human and it shows we work at our relationships and that ‘family’ is important to us.

Peter: It’s simply the truth really, we are in fact Scotland’s version of the Waltons! Joking aside, it wasn’t a conscious decision at all. If we portray a happy family it’s simply because we are.

We are aware that that’s how we can be percieved but it’s not a marketing ploy. Although we do appreciate that being seen as somewhat idyllic can have its benefits as it fits in with the ethos of A Little Bit of Me Time.

PartnerMaps: The results of your questionnaire also position you in the same quadrant of the PeopleMaps personality map - down in the south west. Coincidentally, my husband Martin and I are positioned in the same map quadrant (although in the north east of the PeopleMaps map), and although we recognise many of the same traits in the other, we’re certainly not peas in a pod. Did you find the outcome of your questionnaire accurate for both of you? And were you aware beforehand of these similarities between you both?

Peter and Heather: We found the questionnaire outcomes very accurate and it didn’t really surprise us that we share so many traits. If you met us you would think us very different.

But our personalities compliment each other and underneath it all we share the same core values and motivation. Deep down we are soul mates and we recognised that the minute we met.

PartnerMaps: I am hugely admiring of Martin’s drive and ambition, however I do get frustrated when this prevents him focussing on the task in hand. In fact in personality terms, we have the same focus on task rather than feeling, but my approach is more concerned with completing the task list - each tick at a time!

Can either of you tell us what in terms of the business most frustrates you about the other, and how you deal with it?

Heather: I am an activist and get hold of ideas very quickly and want to run with them. Peter likes to build foundations and do things ‘properly’. He humours me and let’s me get the excitement over with and then brings me back down to earth with the practicalities of the situation. I always realise that he is probably right and have started enjoying the process more.

Take a silly example like painting a room. I would be in and out in no time splashing paint around with the radio blasting and covered in the stuff. It would all be done and dusted by lunchtime.

Peter on the other hand, would spend the morning masking off all the areas he didn’t want to get paint on, he would then wash down the walls and sand any rough bits. Then he would ‘cut in’ all round the room before ever getting a roller out. It will take him more time but the job will be done to a high standard and it won’t need doing again for a long time.

Peter: Being very similar can have its drawbacks. Quite often we are motivated by the same things. Similarly, we can be demotivated at the same time too. We have to be very aware of how each other is feeling otherwise we may never get any work done on some days because we both make the ‘business’ decision that we need to walk the dog for 2 hours. It takes one of us to act sensible and persuade the other that work is fun too (that’s usually Heather’s role).

PartnerMaps: Even with our best efforts, business relationships will usually throw us into some difficult positions from time to time. According to your peace-loving, stable and tolerant personality types, it is most likely that neither of you are keen to confront and deal with the more ugly business situations. Does that ring true with your experiences to date, and if so how do you tackle it?

Peter and Heather: We do like peace and stability but when there is a difficult decision to be made we are very sensible and try to see the bigger picture. We have regular weekly meetings (which might seem a bit daft, but things can run away with you and unless the communication is constant one person doesn’t know what the other is doing).

We make decisions together and we take the consequenses together. There is no blame seeking and generally things have worked well. We do the best we can with what we’ve got and it’s good enough - that’s what we keep telling each other. And we learn from our mistakes.

PartnerMaps: It’s apparent to me that you both take many actions deliberately geared towards living your lives harmoniously - in terms of your lifestyle and business choices. Do you think that understanding and learning more about your personalities - self and the other - will be another tool you can use to help you in this mission?

Heather: Any business I have has to tie in with my wider beliefs and I couldn’t pretend to be someone I’m not. Some people may be drawn to the business because they like and trust me, some may be put off by it. I have to be true to my ideals.

Peter:The short answer is Yes! The more we know about each other and ourselves, the better our communication and relationship will be. We commit time to working on our relationship, lifestyle and business and everything we learn is a powerful tool in our toolbox. It was also a lot of fun and we would recommend it to other couples. You never know what you might find out!

Yvonne Rice is an author, singles life coach, global online dating expert & romance scam consultant based in Australia. Her website is www.singlesdatingpedia.com and you can read more top tips at her blog www.tipsfordating.net.

PartnerMaps: Yvonne, you’ve carried out extensive research into the online dating scene and authored two books on the subject, Finding the One and Love, Sex, Lies and the Internet mouse “trap”. Your research has taken you to every kind of dating site out there - adult sites and far beyond! Can you share with us your motivation for conducting the research?

Yvonne: I discovered that there was a need for Online Daters to understand what was available to them online and how to communicate effectively for greater success (on any site) and to also stay safe online – without scaring them to death!

I feel that being informed is a sensible way to go it gives you choices – however, there is a lot of negative “misinformation and sensationalism” out there which I found (and still find) to be unfair and untrue.

In order to do this I felt that researching just the mainstream sites was not giving an extensive picture of what the online dating scene was all about. This led me to research the Adult, Gay, Lesbian, Transgender and Cultural/Religious sites as well.

I am a huge supporter of Online Dating and know just how successful it has been for millions of people around the world – if done correctly.
As a former Dating Agency Director I understand how difficult it can be for anyone looking to find “The One”. After researching over 6,000 dating sites and interviewing over 4,500 online singles globally – I had a pretty good idea what was missing – basically it comes down to knowing what you want, knowing who you are, how you present yourself online and how you communicate. And that is why I wrote my 2 books – to guide and inform singles dating online.

PartnerMaps: Your bio describes you as a “romance scam consultant” and you devote a chapter in each of your books to “Scams, Rip-Off Artists and Sexual Predators” and “Avoiding Being Scammed”. A very high profile romance scam has made the news recently, when so called ‘Swiss Gigolo’ Helg Sgarbi fraudulently extracted 7 million Euros from BMW heiress, Susanne Klatten. Do you need to be a wealthy woman to be at risk of such a scam?

Yvonne: Romance Scams as they are known amongst those of us involved in the Online Dating Industry and Law Enforcement Agencies are not directed at the “desperate, lonely, dateless and penniless”. The people who generally are victims to these scams are intelligent and financially secure people – both Female and Male.

Let’s face it – if you don’t have any money - you are not much good to a scammer. If I may, here are some tips to keep your readers safe from the clutches of being scammed – there are more, however - if followed even with these few tips – it is less likely to happen to you:

1. Read the terms and conditions of the Dating or Social Networking Site – make sure that they don’t have the rights to give or sell your information to anyone else. This is how you get phishing spam.
2. Watch what is in the background of your profile photo – a scammer will look to see if you have nice things. Never have anything but yourself in the photo – a blank wall behind you is the perfect background.
3. When writing your profile – don’t give specific information about you or your family members – especially about your children if you have them – this means to a scammer you are potentially vulnerable and gives them an angle to work on you.
4. Stay on the Dating Site to communicate – Dating Sites spend millions of dollars to keep you safe by being anonymous. If you stay on the site the scammers get nervous as they know they have a greater chance of being caught.
5. If someone is pressuring you to communicate off of the Dating Site – cease communication with them immediately. They obviously don’t have any respect for your privacy or safety – so what is their motive?
6. 3-4 emails via the Dating Site - is enough for you to work out if there is any connection between you and therefore you would like to meet. Any more than this and you start having a relationship which is unrealistic.
7. Keep all of your personal information to yourself until you have decided to meet – this will save you from being harassed if you discover that when you meet – this person is not for you. If they don’t have your details – they can’t contact you and you can “block” them on the Dating Site if they start to harass you.
8. Romance Scammers in general will not want meet you – they can’t they live overseas. So wishing to meet after 3-4 emails is a good indication of where they live – excuses are warning signs.
9. Stay away from profiles that say they live in the same city or country you do but they are currently living overseas because they are on a short term contract. This is the latest Romance Scam that is surfacing. Another reason to stick to the “3-4 emails only” philosophy.

PartnerMaps: With such a rise in social networking sites, online networkers are increasingly creating profiles of themselves all over the web - in an opportunity to connect with many diverse folk from across the world. Do you think this could lead to a potential increase in online romance scams, and do you have any top tips to share with active social networkers?

Yvonne: Yes, and it is already proving to be the case. One of the big advantages of being on a Dating Site is that your personal information is protected via your anonymity – this is not the case on Social Networking Sites. One of the biggest problems is the amount of personal information people display on their Social Networking profiles.

It is very common to see full names, complete dates of birth, email and website address as well as phone numbers. There are also photos of family and friends as well as information on the type of business or career a person is involved in. All this is open for anyone to read as soon as they are accepted as a friend.

This not only gives a scammer a really good indication of your potential worth but is the way identity theft is facilitated. By having all of your personal details as well as your photo – you have delivered to the scammers all the information they require to steal your identity.

PartnerMaps: With a vested interest in the subject, we have spoken with you previously about how personality testing can help individuals protect themselves from such scams. Can you explain why you think this is the case?

Yvonne: Having been involved in the Singles Industry for over 15 years I am always without exception asked the same question: “How do I find “The One” – the perfect partner for me?” My answer is always “What are you looking for?” and the reply is always the same – “I don’t know – but I know what I don’t want!” Unfortunately the list of “I don’t want!” far out-weighs the list of “I want…..”

In order to find the type of person you are seeking you first need to get clear on the type of person you are. When you discover this you will be in a much better position to understand the type of person you would truly be happy with and not keeping attracting the same type of person that you always have in the past – just dressed up in a different body.

A personality test in my opinion is a starting point for you to get clear on where you are at that point in time so that you can move forward to creating the possibility of finding the right type of person for you - as well as learning more about yourself in the process.

It is much more difficult to be scammed when you are aware of the type of person you are looking for – the “charm” of the scammer will not attract you - as they won’t fit into your picture of the type of person you are now looking for.

PartnerMaps: Finally, do you think the online dating industry as a whole is doing enough to help protect their members from falling victim? What would you like to see happen?

Yvonne: I think the Online Dating Industry as a whole is doing the best that it can at this point in time – however, what I would like to see happen is a global collaboration of the industry coming together at “The Table’ with Governments, Law Enforcement Agencies, Commerce and Social Networking to collectively as a whole work together to eliminate this problem.

I have been working on this project with other like-minded leaders in this area and I am very pleased to say that I now have a written commitment from representatives of the Nigerian Government to start the talks on solving this problem - and this is just the beginning.

Benefit from Yvonne’s extensive research into online dating by buying her books Finding the One and Love, Sex, Lies and the Internet mouse “trap” and make sure you’re approaching your experience with a smile