Love Mentors 2010 is a teleseminar series, that helps you find ‘Extraordinary Love”.

Celebrity Speakers include:

Hill Harper (CSI:NY),
Yvonne Rice (Love, Sex, and Lies),
Glinda Bridgforth (Oprah Financial Expert),
Ali Campbell (UK’s Mr. Fix It & Kelly Rowland’s Secret Weapon);
Dr. Jeff Gardere (America’s Psychologist & Oprah Expert),
Brad King (Author, Nutritionist),
Joy Nordenstrom (Certified Matchmaker),
Jesus Nebot (International Speaker, Filmmaker, Social Entrepreneur).

From the privacy and comfort of your telephone, finding extraordinary love is all about defining your vision and your version of happily ever after and getting it in this decade:

There is an interesting effect on the business as well - we’re both visionaries and are 100 per cent immersed in the potential of the business, but this means we’re not so great at focussing on the bottom line. Thankfully there are other members of the team who are!

I’m not sure if there any statistics on the comparative percentage of husband and wife teams jointly running businesses on the internet, but I imagine it’s relatively high - or maybe it’s because I’m one of them that I notice them more! I decided to grill another couple about their working life, and just how their personalities affect things for the business. Here’s the resultant interview:

It’s my great pleasure to introduce Peter and Heather Bestel from A Little Bit of Me Time.

PartnerMaps: As I understand it Heather, as a psychotherapist & stress management consultant, the business is based around your expertise, providing digital products to help individuals and business consultant Peter provides the technical support. Can you tell me whose idea was it to go into business together and what prompted the decision?

Heather: A Little Bit of Me Time is our first online business and yes it is all about ME! It seemed the obvious place to start. I have private clients and run courses and that led us to offer similar products online. I had always wanted to work in a business together as Peter is so brilliant at understanding my ideas and making them tangible. He has a great eye for design and so together we make a good team. Now that A little bit of Me Time can stand on its own two feet, Peter can focus on his own online business ideas.

PartnerMaps: Peter - on your Twitter profile, your bio reads “I’m the man behind the woman who’s the brains behind our business.” I can’t imagine that as a business consultant you don’t have a more than substantial influence on the business. Why did you decide to position yourself in a clearly defined supportive role?

Peter: The business is branded as Heather so there’s no need for me to have a visible input. But, I couldn’t let her get away with taking all the credit!

PartnerMaps: Following both your your updates (and that of Sidney the dog and your 11 year old daughter!) on Twitter and on your blog the impression I have is that you’re a very loving family with somewhat of an idyllic life. Prior to this interview I asked you to complete the PartnerMaps personality questionnaire, and this image fits in very well with what I understand of both your personality types. Can each of you tell me how deliberate that projection is, and how aware of it you are?

Heather: It’s all true! (laughs) We want to give an insight into our lives so that our clients can get to know us. In the self help industry it is important to build trust and I have to be held to account. If I ‘walk my talk’ then my clients can trust me and my products.

We have worked long and hard to create the life we have now and I’m happy for others to see that. It shows we are human and it shows we work at our relationships and that ‘family’ is important to us.

Peter: It’s simply the truth really, we are in fact Scotland’s version of the Waltons! Joking aside, it wasn’t a conscious decision at all. If we portray a happy family it’s simply because we are.

We are aware that that’s how we can be percieved but it’s not a marketing ploy. Although we do appreciate that being seen as somewhat idyllic can have its benefits as it fits in with the ethos of A Little Bit of Me Time.

PartnerMaps: The results of your questionnaire also position you in the same quadrant of the PeopleMaps personality map - down in the south west. Coincidentally, my husband Martin and I are positioned in the same map quadrant (although in the north east of the PeopleMaps map), and although we recognise many of the same traits in the other, we’re certainly not peas in a pod. Did you find the outcome of your questionnaire accurate for both of you? And were you aware beforehand of these similarities between you both?

Peter and Heather: We found the questionnaire outcomes very accurate and it didn’t really surprise us that we share so many traits. If you met us you would think us very different.

But our personalities compliment each other and underneath it all we share the same core values and motivation. Deep down we are soul mates and we recognised that the minute we met.

PartnerMaps: I am hugely admiring of Martin’s drive and ambition, however I do get frustrated when this prevents him focussing on the task in hand. In fact in personality terms, we have the same focus on task rather than feeling, but my approach is more concerned with completing the task list - each tick at a time!

Can either of you tell us what in terms of the business most frustrates you about the other, and how you deal with it?

Heather: I am an activist and get hold of ideas very quickly and want to run with them. Peter likes to build foundations and do things ‘properly’. He humours me and let’s me get the excitement over with and then brings me back down to earth with the practicalities of the situation. I always realise that he is probably right and have started enjoying the process more.

Take a silly example like painting a room. I would be in and out in no time splashing paint around with the radio blasting and covered in the stuff. It would all be done and dusted by lunchtime.

Peter on the other hand, would spend the morning masking off all the areas he didn’t want to get paint on, he would then wash down the walls and sand any rough bits. Then he would ‘cut in’ all round the room before ever getting a roller out. It will take him more time but the job will be done to a high standard and it won’t need doing again for a long time.

Peter: Being very similar can have its drawbacks. Quite often we are motivated by the same things. Similarly, we can be demotivated at the same time too. We have to be very aware of how each other is feeling otherwise we may never get any work done on some days because we both make the ‘business’ decision that we need to walk the dog for 2 hours. It takes one of us to act sensible and persuade the other that work is fun too (that’s usually Heather’s role).

PartnerMaps: Even with our best efforts, business relationships will usually throw us into some difficult positions from time to time. According to your peace-loving, stable and tolerant personality types, it is most likely that neither of you are keen to confront and deal with the more ugly business situations. Does that ring true with your experiences to date, and if so how do you tackle it?

Peter and Heather: We do like peace and stability but when there is a difficult decision to be made we are very sensible and try to see the bigger picture. We have regular weekly meetings (which might seem a bit daft, but things can run away with you and unless the communication is constant one person doesn’t know what the other is doing).

We make decisions together and we take the consequenses together. There is no blame seeking and generally things have worked well. We do the best we can with what we’ve got and it’s good enough - that’s what we keep telling each other. And we learn from our mistakes.

PartnerMaps: It’s apparent to me that you both take many actions deliberately geared towards living your lives harmoniously - in terms of your lifestyle and business choices. Do you think that understanding and learning more about your personalities - self and the other - will be another tool you can use to help you in this mission?

Heather: Any business I have has to tie in with my wider beliefs and I couldn’t pretend to be someone I’m not. Some people may be drawn to the business because they like and trust me, some may be put off by it. I have to be true to my ideals.

Peter:The short answer is Yes! The more we know about each other and ourselves, the better our communication and relationship will be. We commit time to working on our relationship, lifestyle and business and everything we learn is a powerful tool in our toolbox. It was also a lot of fun and we would recommend it to other couples. You never know what you might find out!

PartnerMaps for Individuals in a Relationship

PartnerMaps for Singles

PartnerMaps: Yvonne, you’ve carried out extensive research into the online dating scene and authored two books on the subject, Finding the One and Love, Sex, Lies and the Internet mouse “trap”. Your research has taken you to every kind of dating site out there - adult sites and far beyond! Can you share with us your motivation for conducting the research?

Yvonne: I discovered that there was a need for Online Daters to understand what was available to them online and how to communicate effectively for greater success (on any site) and to also stay safe online – without scaring them to death!

I feel that being informed is a sensible way to go it gives you choices – however, there is a lot of negative “misinformation and sensationalism” out there which I found (and still find) to be unfair and untrue.

In order to do this I felt that researching just the mainstream sites was not giving an extensive picture of what the online dating scene was all about. This led me to research the Adult, Gay, Lesbian, Transgender and Cultural/Religious sites as well.

I am a huge supporter of Online Dating and know just how successful it has been for millions of people around the world – if done correctly.
As a former Dating Agency Director I understand how difficult it can be for anyone looking to find “The One”. After researching over 6,000 dating sites and interviewing over 4,500 online singles globally – I had a pretty good idea what was missing – basically it comes down to knowing what you want, knowing who you are, how you present yourself online and how you communicate. And that is why I wrote my 2 books – to guide and inform singles dating online.

PartnerMaps: Your bio describes you as a “romance scam consultant” and you devote a chapter in each of your books to “Scams, Rip-Off Artists and Sexual Predators” and “Avoiding Being Scammed”. A very high profile romance scam has made the news recently, when so called ‘Swiss Gigolo’ Helg Sgarbi fraudulently extracted 7 million Euros from BMW heiress, Susanne Klatten. Do you need to be a wealthy woman to be at risk of such a scam?

Yvonne: Romance Scams as they are known amongst those of us involved in the Online Dating Industry and Law Enforcement Agencies are not directed at the “desperate, lonely, dateless and penniless”. The people who generally are victims to these scams are intelligent and financially secure people – both Female and Male.

Let’s face it – if you don’t have any money - you are not much good to a scammer. If I may, here are some tips to keep your readers safe from the clutches of being scammed – there are more, however - if followed even with these few tips – it is less likely to happen to you:

1. Read the terms and conditions of the Dating or Social Networking Site – make sure that they don’t have the rights to give or sell your information to anyone else. This is how you get phishing spam.
2. Watch what is in the background of your profile photo – a scammer will look to see if you have nice things. Never have anything but yourself in the photo – a blank wall behind you is the perfect background.
3. When writing your profile – don’t give specific information about you or your family members – especially about your children if you have them – this means to a scammer you are potentially vulnerable and gives them an angle to work on you.
4. Stay on the Dating Site to communicate – Dating Sites spend millions of dollars to keep you safe by being anonymous. If you stay on the site the scammers get nervous as they know they have a greater chance of being caught.
5. If someone is pressuring you to communicate off of the Dating Site – cease communication with them immediately. They obviously don’t have any respect for your privacy or safety – so what is their motive?
6. 3-4 emails via the Dating Site - is enough for you to work out if there is any connection between you and therefore you would like to meet. Any more than this and you start having a relationship which is unrealistic.
7. Keep all of your personal information to yourself until you have decided to meet – this will save you from being harassed if you discover that when you meet – this person is not for you. If they don’t have your details – they can’t contact you and you can “block” them on the Dating Site if they start to harass you.
8. Romance Scammers in general will not want meet you – they can’t they live overseas. So wishing to meet after 3-4 emails is a good indication of where they live – excuses are warning signs.
9. Stay away from profiles that say they live in the same city or country you do but they are currently living overseas because they are on a short term contract. This is the latest Romance Scam that is surfacing. Another reason to stick to the “3-4 emails only” philosophy.

PartnerMaps: With such a rise in social networking sites, online networkers are increasingly creating profiles of themselves all over the web - in an opportunity to connect with many diverse folk from across the world. Do you think this could lead to a potential increase in online romance scams, and do you have any top tips to share with active social networkers?

Yvonne: Yes, and it is already proving to be the case. One of the big advantages of being on a Dating Site is that your personal information is protected via your anonymity – this is not the case on Social Networking Sites. One of the biggest problems is the amount of personal information people display on their Social Networking profiles.

It is very common to see full names, complete dates of birth, email and website address as well as phone numbers. There are also photos of family and friends as well as information on the type of business or career a person is involved in. All this is open for anyone to read as soon as they are accepted as a friend.

This not only gives a scammer a really good indication of your potential worth but is the way identity theft is facilitated. By having all of your personal details as well as your photo – you have delivered to the scammers all the information they require to steal your identity.

PartnerMaps: With a vested interest in the subject, we have spoken with you previously about how personality testing can help individuals protect themselves from such scams. Can you explain why you think this is the case?

Yvonne: Having been involved in the Singles Industry for over 15 years I am always without exception asked the same question: “How do I find “The One” – the perfect partner for me?” My answer is always “What are you looking for?” and the reply is always the same – “I don’t know – but I know what I don’t want!” Unfortunately the list of “I don’t want!” far out-weighs the list of “I want…..”

In order to find the type of person you are seeking you first need to get clear on the type of person you are. When you discover this you will be in a much better position to understand the type of person you would truly be happy with and not keeping attracting the same type of person that you always have in the past – just dressed up in a different body.

A personality test in my opinion is a starting point for you to get clear on where you are at that point in time so that you can move forward to creating the possibility of finding the right type of person for you - as well as learning more about yourself in the process.

It is much more difficult to be scammed when you are aware of the type of person you are looking for – the “charm” of the scammer will not attract you - as they won’t fit into your picture of the type of person you are now looking for.

PartnerMaps: Finally, do you think the online dating industry as a whole is doing enough to help protect their members from falling victim? What would you like to see happen?

Yvonne: I think the Online Dating Industry as a whole is doing the best that it can at this point in time – however, what I would like to see happen is a global collaboration of the industry coming together at “The Table’ with Governments, Law Enforcement Agencies, Commerce and Social Networking to collectively as a whole work together to eliminate this problem.

I have been working on this project with other like-minded leaders in this area and I am very pleased to say that I now have a written commitment from representatives of the Nigerian Government to start the talks on solving this problem - and this is just the beginning.

Benefit from Yvonne’s extensive research into online dating by buying her books Finding the One and Love, Sex, Lies and the Internet mouse “trap” and make sure you’re approaching your experience with a smile

Q: How can you choose an ideal partner using personality?

The very first thing is to check that you do have shared values and goals - and then examine the bi-polar scales. Remember - if you have a lack of common values and goals, it’s unlikely that your relationship will be successful whatever your personality type!

Q: How does the Introvert and Extravert scale affect a partnership?

Extraverts probably get on well with their opposite introverts if for no other reason than they are not fighting each other for ‘air time’! If both partners are at the extreme ends of these scales chances are they would never meld together as they would upset each other almost as soon as they open their mouths. Fortunately most people are close to the centre of the Extravert/Introvert scale.

If both partners were extraverted there is a chance that they may both be gregarious and tend to talk at the same time. They also may want to grab the limelight, be forceful in oferring their opinions and generally be more confronting than other types.

If both partners were introverted, the silences could be long, but then they may like that? However, there could be a challenge when in company if neither of them was comfortable breaking the ice with strangers - there could be a strain on the relationship.

Q: And the Thinking or Feeling scale?

The rational preference scales of Thinking and Feeling could be tricky if a couple were extreme i.e. placed at either end. There is less evidence to show where people generally fall along this scale than with the Extravert/Introvert scale.

A person who is high on the Thinking side of this scale would be more objective, factual and task focused, however they could be very happy to meet someone from the Feeling end of the scale who was warm, friendly and people-oriented, and there are certainly very many relationships where this combination works well.

There could however be a challenge particularly if the ‘Thinking’ partner wasn’t keen to show emotion or dicuss feelings, and the Feeling partner didn’t enjoy being task focused and had to work at being objective to get on the same wave length as their partner.

If both partners had a Thinking preference then they could get on well together as both could remain objective and work together to complete tasks. They would forward plan and generally be action oriented. There could be a lack of warmth and emotion in this relationship, but hey that’s okay for some people!

If both partners had a Feeling preference they could get on well together because they would both be warm-hearted, aim to please each other and be friendly not only to each other but also to those people they came in contact with. There may not be a lot of planning taking place, but they would be happy to go with the flow. There could be an abundance of feeling in this combination that may cause them to bleed all over the carpet for any situation that upset them! On the other hand some people do fall in love with their suffering so for them this may be okay too.

Q: And the third scale of Sensing or Intuition- How will that affect things?

This scale is the most likely to be the deal breaker. Yet again life is about a balancing act and these two preferences could balance out nicely. If one partner was highly intuitive they may count on their partner being the practical one who could use their sensing to bring the intuitive back down to earth having applied a common sense view to their creative flights of fancy.

There is a mismatch between expectations of these two if they are at either end of this scale. The Intuitive is future oriented - and life is all about possibilities, potential and is really the art of the possible. The Sensing partner is more practical and down to earth - they want tangible proof for almost everything and believe in the here and now and manage to thrive without any flight of fancy.

Reconciling these two very different world views takes some doing and if in this bi-polar scale partners are opposites it is almost a certainty that this could only work if they truly shared their values and were willing to make major compromises to meet each others needs!

Q: What does it all mean? Can profiling really help improve relationships?

People are individually very complex but when you put two or more together the complexities multiply.

Relationships are not only complex, they are multi-faceted and a whole host of issues need to be confronted. What profiling does is help each and everyone of us to identify what it is that makes us tick and then be aware of what motivates others.

It really depends on the depth of the feeling that one holds for another as to how much compromising they will do in any relationship. This is true of behaviour too. In every relationship we have we will make compromises on our behaviour that sometimes we are not aware of, but instinctively we know are necessary to move the relationship forward.

If we understand our own complex personality better as a result of profiling then we will know the areas where compromise between two people is the most crucial.

Who needs to adjust - you or the other person? If you want a relationship to work then in the first place you need to adjust. If you do this successfully then you will trust that the other person appreciates the relationship enough to make their own adjustments and contribute to the greater harmony.

If you have an Extraverted preference then make sure that you take into account the needs of others around you and do not exaggerate this attitude. It is likely that someone with a preference for extraversion has to tone down occasionally and understanding the needs of others whose company you may be sharing, will dictate this for you.

If you have an Introverted preference then you may have to force yourself to be a bit more overt to enable a relationship to flow better. At first this may be uncomfortable - however practice makes perfect and it does not mean that you have to become an extravert, just a little more open and talkative.

If you have a preference for Thinking you may have to get in touch with your feelings and become a bit more tolerant of people. You may need to make some overtures such as enquiring after a person’s health or saying thank you for small kindnesses and generally share a little more emotion rather than remaining apart and objective through a meeting.

If you have a preference for Feeling you may need to get in touch with your objective side and tone down your emotions to relate better to the people who are less ‘touchy feelie’ This does not mean that you have to become cold just a bit more self contained.

If you have a preference for Sensing you may need to become a bit more imaginative, dream a little, see possibilities without needing tangible evidence and be open to ideas even those you may normally think are off the wall.

If you have a preference for Intuition you may need to ‘get real’ as the saying goes. Be less ‘head in clouds’ and a bit more down to earth and practical. Focus on reality, what’s possible now rather than well into the future. Stop day dreaming and do some planning!

Q: This all sounds a bit technical, Anne?

This is only a guide to what might be happening in our relationship with self - and then how this clashes or compliments when we are in relationships with others. A profile will enable us to see which of the bi-polar scales we use most of the time. It will tell if our attitude is Extraverted or Introverted, and if we have a rational preference for Thinking or Feeling and what are our irrational preferences for Sensing or Intuition.

The golden rule is check that you share values with a partner, put their needs before yours, offer unconditional love and there should be more joy in your life. Joy is to love, and be loved and when we are prepared to go to the trouble of modifying our behaviour to get on better with others we are trying very hard to be accused of bringing joy to another!

Q: How can personality affect relationships?

First off, we have to consider that we have relationships with a whole host of people who may relate to the world in a different way from us - and in the process they will influence their own and our behaviour.

For example, think about how people would behave if they were at a social gathering and someone introduced themselves as a religious minister. Would this cause them to adjust or moderate their behaviour to accommodate a seemingly appropriate relationship with this person? Or would they continue as they would with someone they had met in a pub? The answer is that it would be automatic for most people - those of strong faith and none - to adjust as they believe circumstances required.

So it is worthwhile being aware that these adjustments go on all the time in relationships - in all sorts of ways, and that people are not even aware that they are making them. It is therefore difficult to ascribe fixed characteristics to people - and what profiling does is categorise how they tend to behave most of the time. This is achieved by measuring attitudes and preferences for thinking or feeling and sensing or intuition and it is the combination of these scales that enable people to be characterised within a personality type group.

According to Carl Jung - the Swiss psychologist on whose work the PartnerMaps profiling is based - these categories could by used to identify behaviour that people have in common while he still believed that every single person was unique. Their uniqueness is due to the differences to the application and extent that they use the shared characteristics - and this is the major cause of differences in relationships.

Q: Can personality be used to identify romantic partners?

It is often said that opposites attract - and this can be the case. If someone was particularly quiet and self effacing they may initially be attracted to the behaviour of someone who, to them, seemed confident and self assured - mainly because they were louder and more able to voice their opinions. The chances are that before very long this attraction would lessen, as they could not cope with such loud behaviour on an ongoing basis - and the same would be true of the reverse situation.

Marriage guidance counsellors often refer to a common statement made by people in a breaking relationship, when they ask, “What attracted you to John in the first place?”. Mary may answer “He was such good fun”. When the counsellor then asks, “Is he no longer fun then?”, Mary responds, “No, it ’s not that, it is just that he infuriates me by never taking anything seriously!”.

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to a better understanding of ourselves.”
Carl Jung

This is a case of the opposites being attracted to each other for the wrong reasons. The things that really hold a relationship together were absent and these two gradually irritated each other. In this case Mary is probably a more sober, cautious person who really values taking life and responsibilities seriously. John on the other hand, wants to treat life lightly and have a laugh. He now views her as boring, and she sees him as irresponsible.

For a relationship to work people need to share similar goals and values and without this, no matter what personality mix the relationship will flounder. There needs to be respect for each other in a relationship - and when there is, even if people have very different views or methods of achieving their goals, they will still support each other. If however there is no respect for each partner’s values, then very soon there will be no respect for the person either.

Q: How then to use personality to help relationships?

You can get the best out of a relationship through an understanding of personality type. It is obvious in the above scenario that two very different types were initially attracted. Provided that their goals and values were in sync this could have worked very well. A quieter person often depends on a noisier person to keep a conversation going - or the noisier person relies on the quieter one to bring some calm to their lives.

John the extravert and Mary the introvert were in a relationship that worked for some of the time, however there is much more at play in relationships than the bi-polar scale of extraversion and introversion. With most couples this is a common combination, but did John and Mary also differ in the scale that measures Thinking/Feeling? Many couples do - and it also works well.

However, if John irritated Mary by not taking things seriously and he also had a preference for Feeling versus her preference for Thinking then this combination is beginning to get difficult - bearing in mind that they may not have started out with any shared goals or values to glue things together.

If Mary’s preference was for Thinking, then she her focus would be on the task, it’s objective and her aim to get things done. John, we know, likes to enjoy life and have a laugh and if this is now combined with a preference for Feeling he will be guided more by his emotions - relating warmly to people rather than being objective and focused on completing the task.

“It’s better that people get along well together and can have a laugh, lighten up and enjoy life, than be an old misery to others” may be John’s take on things, in opposition to Mary’s need for action that will produce positive results. So now there is a mismatch on two of the bi-polar scales - which is common enough for many couples and does not in itself necessarily lead to a dysfunctional relationship. However, if we add the third bi-polar scale of Sensing and Intuition and find that there is a mismatch here too, the trouble could be deepening for John and Mary.

Let’s add Sensing to Mary’s introverted Thinking preferences and Intuition to John’s Extraverted Feeling preferences, and now we really do have a pair of opposite personality types. The combination that possibly causes more relationship breakdowns than any other is Sensing - V - Intuition. With Sensing, we have someone who interprets information through their senses: “If I can feel it, smell it, see it, I may believe it”. They need concrete proof of something that it is real. Whereas those with a preference for Intuition are more free spirited and believe in potential, and for some of them that potential could be enormous - but it never seems to get any closer.

If we assume that John has a preference for Intuition and pitch this against Mary’s pragmatic, down to earth take on life they will really now be getting on each other’s nerves: Mary wants logic, certainty, future planning and an affordable life. John wants fun, friendships and just knows that if only one of his big intuitive ideas in which only he sees the potential comes to fruition life will be great!

It looks like the game is probably up for Mary and John, yet there are many relationships where the partners are as different as these two - and it works. Go back to first principles. It works because there is more glue in their shared goals and values than in their mismatched personalities, and when this is the case it can work very well.

Part 3 reveals how to choose the ideal partner …

It’s pretty clear that lots of people don’t understand psychological profiling at all, however. Sure, there’s a plethora of sites offering ‘personality tests’ but many of them don’t have any roots in professional psychology.

So then, is it any surprise that many people misunderstand the concept of a personality profile, and what it might tell them?

In response, I have asked Anne Ellis,PeopleMaps’ director of psychology, some questions about what profiling is - what it will tell you and how it can help you with relationships. Part one deals with apparently ‘negative’ personality aspects.

Q: Will my personality profile tell me things I don’t want to hear?

A: Personality profiling is a method of identifying personality characteristics that we each have. Some characteristics are obvious - and others are denied. Those that are uncomfortable may not be acknowledged and are most likely to be the ones denied. A professional profile will deal with your complete personality - we’re not all Saints! - and give feedback on how you best deal with both comfortable and less comfortable aspects.

Q: What is the best way to test whether my profile is accurate?

A: The test for most people is to ask someone close, someone who knows you pretty well, if they agree with your profile. Check with them if they can see any of the characteristics you don’t see - and if so, to provide an example. In most cases, they will be able to.

Q: Can you provide an example of uncomfortable behaviour?

Some people will be happy with a profile that says they are ‘direct, strong and purposeful’, yet they might take issue with a comment they perceive as a negative aspect, for instance, if the profile also warns them about ‘intimidating others’ due to their ‘direct, confrontational approach’.

“All our knowledge has its origin in our perceptions.” Leonardo da Vinci

If asked to analyse themselves further, they will probably be able to recognise situations where they came over too strongly with someone who had a more timid nature - although they might just think they were being straight to the point: it’s all in the perception.

Most people are happy to embrace the positive aspects of their personality. What we must take into account is that most positives have a negative counterpart. It is in recognising and acknowledging that positive behaviour can be drift into negative behaviour depending on the circumstance, that people will begin to get a real understanding of self - and truly benefit from profiling.

Q: Personality questionnaire - how is it measured?

A: The PartnerMaps report profile is the feedback generated from the online personality questionnaire

The results come from measuring the respondent’s answers on bi-polar scales that are in themselves opposites. If for example attitudes of extraversion or introversion were measured on the scale and someone came close to the middle, then this would imply they were not extreme in their behaviour: however they would have a natural preference for one behaviour over the other most of the time - it depends how far along a scale people travel.

Of course this also means that in different circumstances they could display one type of behaviour more than the other. For example, If they thought of themselves as more introverted and then considered a group meeting where they appeared to be obviously more overt than the rest of the group, this could be because the others were simply further along the introverted scale than them - and they would therefore appear more extraverted.

This means that different circumstances and people impact on behaviour - and also on relationships.

Part 2 will consider relationship and personality type…

“Excited” just doesn’t cut it as a description for trying to convey how genuinely thrilled I am with this latest personality report.

PartnerMaps has been a long time in the making, and I believe it is by far the best personality report for individuals that we have ever made.

It looks so very beautiful (I hope you agree) and my biggest thanks must go here to our very talented designer, Craig for taking the initial brief and working it into such a glossy result.

No personality report is complete without personality content, of course and the topics created by our co-founder and director of psychology, Anne Ellis are second to none. I could listen to Anne talk about personality all day : she offers deep insight into our everyday - nd out of the ordinary - behaviour.

The first in the series of PartnerMaps relationship reports covers some of the most fundamental situations in relationships - and how your personality affects these.

So, who is PartnerMaps for?

This is where I should say it’s for anyone and everyone. Here’s what I will say, PartnerMaps is for anyone who seeks to improve their situation through the acquisition of professional expertise. You might be in the middle of a relationship crisis, or you might simply be fascinated with personality psychology. PartnerMaps can help lead you to a deeper understanding - and even though it’s results are based on professional analysis - it can be fun too!

• Getting out of a relationship? PartnerMaps can lessen your pain through understanding.
• Getting into a new relationship? PartnerMaps can help you understand what you want and how to avoid past mistakes.
• Getting on with a current relationship? PartnerMaps can help you make it better through awareness of your self and your partner’s typical behaviour.

You can get a sneak preview by completing the questionnaire. We’ll send you a report extract for absolutely no cost - and with no obligation: